Thursday, June 25, 2009

"What happens if you snort a bunch of Midol?"

Your nasal passages would feel like they're on fire. And after all of that, you won't get high and then you'll feel really stupid. Try shoving it up your ass, it might be more effective that way! Jeez. Don't people grow pot anymore?

This answer is to the handful of people this week who actually typed that question into Google and found my blog. /waves! Ahh the joys of the keyword analysis. I guess I should check it out more often, because some of the things people type into search engines that bring them here, to my boring blog, make me laugh. It truly takes all sorts to run the world. I guess if everyone were the same, this world would be one boring place.

I'm having kind of a lazy, unmotivated week. Yes, there's plenty that needs to be going on, and yes, I have a lot of work to do for class which I *am* getting done, but I don't really want to do it. Honestly, although I really enjoy my instructor this block and the information is somewhat interesting, I'm pretty burned out and I'm anxious to start a new class. As much as I want to keep up with my class there is a small part of me that regrets changing my schedule to get rid of the break I had originally planned. Maybe a break would do me some good. Maybe though I just need to push through this burn out I'm facing, suck it up and go on. Perhaps the new block I start next week will help motivate me.

It feels like all of my friends are experiencing extremely rough patches in life, and all at the same time. It's like there is something in the drinking water and it's very frustrating for me because there's really nothing I can do to make anything better for them. I like to fix things, and to me, just "being there" for someone when they need to talk just doesn't seem effective enough during times like this. It's hard to sit back and watch people go through hard things and not have a brilliant idea or solution that will help. It sucks. I think about them though, I wish good things for them, and hope that eventually everything will work out for the best. And with the friends who are going through hard times is the friend who showed their true colors and turned out to be capable of things I never expected, especially at this point in life. Which is okay in the end, I guess. I'm just glad that communication with other people helped everyone understand what was really going on, because I think in the end it prevented things from being worse.

And, for every bad thing there are good things that come from the situation, as I've met new people, reconnected with friends from my past and I'm getting to know people I've hung out with that I didn't really get a chance to know before, so that's pretty dang cool too. The first picture up top is from a BBQ this weekend with friends. My hubby and I hung out with my friend Annie, who I've known for 21 years. In the back with the hat is Daniul, whom I've known for about 23 years and even dated back in high school, and Thomas is a new friend that I've totally clicked with The second picture is Thomas (in Dan's hat), me, and Dan (with the middle finger that has a mind of its own). Made for a really nice day and I hope that we all get the chance to do it again soon.

In other news, my blog is finally getting a much needed face-lift. I think I've been at this blog for over 4 years now without ever having the ability to personalize it and put a bit of me on it aside from my words and photographs. Everything has always been somewhat generic and I've not really had a sense of true "ownership", but thanks to a new internet friend, that will be changing here in the next week or so. If you're interested in seeking help with sprucing up your own blog, feel free to contact her-you can find her link here on my blog as my follower, and in tomorrow's post I will put up a link and maybe snag a button from her site for people to visit if there's one available.

Hope everyone has a great rest of the week--remember...tomorrow is Friday!!!

:) Nicole

Thursday, June 18, 2009


I'm in a real funk, today.

First of all, I went to Target today in hopes of replacing my well loved (but torn to shit) sock monkey slippers. Not only did they NOT have the slippers, but it looks like they're having a "how ugly can our slippers possibly be" contest. I guess I just picked the wrong time to go looking for slippers. I'm possibly the only person that likes to wear slippers regardless of what season it is. Bugger.

Then, I'm tired today. Not just physically tired, but tired like my brain hurts tired. My plans of sleeping in this morning were dashed when the dog decided he needed to totally break his normal schedule and have to go out at 7:30 am. Rat bastard.

And maybe part of the reason I'm drained is the fact that I'm naive and stupid about people. Especially those I go out on a limb for, try to help, protect and guide, who then lie about me, put words in my mouth, lie to me when confronted, and then tell someone it was because they don't like being confronted.

Here's my thing. If you're going to open your mouth and say something, then you should be prepared and have the ability to stand by what you say. If you can't do this, then you're going to be confronted, particularly when I'm not going to put up with it. I'm not the person I was 15 years ago...then I would have thought "ahh, they're going through a tough time, they're vulnerable, they're over emotional, they're not really thinking straight...." and maybe let it slide.

Now though, I don't put up with it. See, I have my daily limit of drama intake, and that's pretty much limited to the one hour I get from watching Days of our Lives. There are no excuses for manipulating and lying to and about someone whose had your back.

I just don't get it, and I find the whole thing incredibly disappointing, surprising and kind of alarming. I suppose I should just know better.

In other news, I've tried three times to clean the toys up from the living room floor today. Clara's new trick is to follow me around and un-do everything I do. Toy goes into the toy box, she pulls three out. Toys go into her room, she drags the whole box out. Sometimes I feel like a goldfish that's swimming in circles with this girl!

First day of summer vacation for Sebastian, and we have pretty crappy weather. I guess it could be worse, I mean, it's not raining...but the sun failed to make an appearance which does not help my case when I try to convince him to go out and get some fresh air and play. When I was a kid, I would get up in the morning, head out to play, come home long enough for lunch, and head back out to play until my mom came outside and screamed for us to come in. He has no interest in this at all. Not that I'm wanting him to leave in the morning and stay gone all day, but some exercise, fort building, adventure having fun isn't too much to expect for him, I don't think?

Well, I'm off. Have school work to do and maybe a nap somewhere in there. Have a great day!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Oh, Ffffffalkenberg!

So, I've had this kit for like, 3 years now. It's a Hanne Falkenberg I managed to pick up at a fairly reasonable price along with the Ballerina kit. To be honest, even the fairly reasonable price made me cringe but I scrimped and saved and bit the bullet and picked them up and then stashed them in the closet.

I don't know why, but I was (and still am a bit) intimidated to get this thing on the needles. I think it's because I've never invested so much money into a knitting kit that maybe there's a part of me that feels guilty for even having it. That, and I'm worried I'm going to mess it up.

A few weeks ago I ran across the scarf shown above, called the Lascala. Oh man I love this thing. It's absolutely gorgeous. I love the pattern, the colors are beautiful and the detail, which isn't so clear on this picture, is spectacular. So I got it into my pea brain that I was going to knit this sucker up and have it ready to proudly wear for the winter. How I thought I was going to have time to do that with the kids, my crazy projects for school and everything else, I dunno...but dang it, I was gonna knit it.

So I pulled it out, took inventory of the yarn, and then opened the instructions so I could grab the proper needles. And this is what I saw:

What? What is this? omg? The pattern was in Danish? Oh dear. Panic set in. Was this how they were supposed to be? Shouldn't I have figured out that I needed to speak another language in order to knit this thing up? What do I do now that I have had the stupid kit for over three years? I went into panic mode. Started Googling. Posted on the Ravelry forums. omg, what was I going to do?

Fortunately the folks on Ravelry were kind enough to help. By the time it was done I had sent an e-mail to Hanne Falkenberg's company and had someone willing to translate for me. Oh yay. About a week later I heard back from my e-mail and they were mailing me new English! Yay!

Now. Who wants to come over to babysit Clara so I can knit a bit?

Today was the last day of school for Sebastian. Instead of getting my daily "What's for dinner?" text after school, I got a text that simply said "It's all over!" He brought home an awesome report card too. Well, awesome except for math. We're still having problems with multiplication tables and I'm on the hunt for a computer program or an online site that will help drill the facts into his head. Anyone know of any good places? I don't mind paying for software or for use...but need something that focuses primarily on multiplication.

Anyway, I'm turning my alarm off and I'm going to sleep in tomorrow! I really shouldn't...I have research to do for a pretty big and important project for class, but if Miss Clara will let me sleep in, I think the extra rest will actually help a bit.

On a sad note, my favorite slippers have died. I'm hoping that Target still sells them...they're sock monkey slippers with button eyes, they were awesome and they were comfy and now they're just plain old worn out. RIP, monkey slippers. :(

I'm off, have a lot of work to do and reading to get done.

Hope you're all having a great week!

Monday, June 15, 2009

Homework Avoidance

I have a big paper that's due today on evaluating the planning function of management. I've done all of my research for it, but that's all I've done so far. I should be writing it right now, but I just can't seem to get my brain there yet.

I changed my schedule at school again. I originally planned to take a month off after my current block to take a break and hang with the kids, but then I decided against it and called my advisor to change it back. Part of me really wants a break, but then there's the other part of me that knows that it would put me a month behind. That and I know that I'm only allowed to take a certain amount of time off during the academic year and knock on wood, should I take that time off and then suddenly find myself in a position where I would really NEED that time off, I'd be in deep dog doo.

So there will be no one month period of bliss where my house is clean and I'll have time to knit without worrying about an assignment that's due. Maybe in a few years, but definitely not right now.

We took the kids to the petting farm at Forest Park this weekend. Sebastian was not excited about this at all. Apparently he is already at the age where there are just some things that are NOT cool to do. Which seems to be everything that involves hanging with mom and dad, anymore. However, I'm pretty sure that he enjoyed himself.

The goats were the big hit. They were such sweet little things, I almost decided that I needed to have one. Then I realized that I needed a farm, first. Then I remembered that if someday, I were fortunate enough to have a farm, that I'd be getting fiber yielding critters before I'd get a goat. But they were adorable! And Clara had the time of her life. To her, these guys were like over sized cats that didn't run away from her. We saw the chicks, looked for the baby pigs (who were asleep in their barn) and pet some bunnies, too. The weather was actually perfect for it-not too hot and not too cool-just right. It was a nice little outing that I'd like to make a part of our summer routine. That is, as long as Sebastian is willing to be seen in public with us...

In other exciting news, I am now officially 9 pounds away from my goal weight. A lot of women have their babies and instantly jump into superwoman action as they work to get into shape. For me though, it was different because I was exclusively breast feeding Clara, and felt that jumping into losing my baby weight would interfere with my ability to provide her with the nutrition she needed. Now though, she's over a year old (14 months today!) and while she still likes to nurse, she is also eating everything we put in front of her. So now I feel okay about getting myself back into shape...and I've done really well. It's amazing what can be done by just being aware of my diet.

I stopped putting sugar in my coffee and now use Splenda. If I drink soda, it's diet soda. I have finally gotten my car trained to not automatically stop at every Starbucks that I pass. (Turns out that the 600 calories and 96 carbs in my favorite frappuccino don't look so good on my ass) and I've drastically reduced the amount of carbs I take in each day, which is not easy to do when I live off of pasta and bread. I still eat all of the time, I'm just more concious of what I'm eating.

I picked up the new EA exercise game for the Wii, which I didn't think would be very effective until the morning after my second workout when I was laying in bed wondering what ran me over in my sleep. Ouch. The bummer is that it's really hard to find the time to do it, because if I were to workout while Clara was awake I'd probably run her over. And, I usually reserve her nap times for getting school work done. Any time I can squeeze it in though, it's good.

This is the last week of school for Sebastian. The last day of school is Wednesday, but I think I'm going to be wanting to drop him back off at school by Friday, hehe.

Well, I really have to get that paper written now. Thanks for being my Homework Avoidance accomplices!

Here's to a good week!


Thursday, June 11, 2009

The Internet: We Know Drama!!!

The internet is a goofy place. Sometimes, it reminds me of high school. There are the cool people. The social networking sites which are kinda like the cafeteria in school. And then there is the drama.

Like this week, when a good chunk of the blogging community was caught off guard when they found out that the April Rose blog they've been following for months was all a lie. Yup. Someone actually made up this big woven story about how they were pregnant with a Trisomy baby (which is considered to be a condition that is not compatible with life) and ran with the story until the baby was supposedly born. Then people started to catch on, then the blog disappeared, and then all of these sites started popping up where people started showing up in droves to investigate matters and dig up more information. Clearly there was more than one person involved, and I wouldn't be surprised one bit if a couple of the people that most consider to be "innocent" parties show up as stinky dirty with their hand in the cookie jar. But that's just my opinion. If it walks like a duck....quack!

Anyway, more fascinating than the fact that this whole hoax took place and that people sent money and purchased t-shirts that were supposedly going to benefit a pregnancy center, is the involvement of the blogging community as they put their heads together to play deputy dog and get to the bottom of it. Where is this woman (or whomever was involved) now? Why did they do this? Are they reading comments as they're being typed? Are one or all of the people leaving comments actually this woman in disguise? Did someone attempt suicide or end up in the loony bin?

And more important than anything else: What is good dipped in Nutella?

See, it's like an episode of Days of our Lives. Or some odd Lifetime movie. You're glad you're not in the cast. You're kind of amazed that some people have figured out the players and the plot and others are still in denial. And you know that you're not going to get anything from the end of the movie, but you still can't bring yourself to change the channel, because you want to see what bullshit is going to be said next, who is going to believe it, and how people are going to react.

And then, by next week, there will be new drama, some new tragedy or hoax that people have moved on to, and real sick kids being talked about on the internet that should be benefiting from the time, attention and worry that has gone in to yet another ridiculous internet hoax that is only perpetuated because those involved think they need just a little more attention.

Ahh, well.

Isn't my baby girl beautiful? She's real, you know. Like, she exists and stuff. I didn't have to make her up!!


Wednesday, June 10, 2009

They say the bright thing in the sky is the sun...

We've already had some killer weather here! We even have the pool set up already...and school isn't even out for the kids, yet! Of course, now that I've said that, we'll be hit by torrential rain and thunderstorms for the next week.

Sebastian started soccer camp this week-it's at the high school at the stadium and there are just gobs of kids running around on the field, and there he is, towering well above everyone else. I think he's going to be super tall-he's ten years old and just a few inches shorter than I am, already. At least he's easy to spot on the field! :)

Clara is getting big, too. Of course, she probably doesn't look very big, but she sure seems big to me! She's gone from walking to running and she's already fiercely independent and knows exactly what she wants. Something tells me I'm already in trouble!

Phil's back to work, he's working 4 day work weeks right now with Wednesdays off. It's kind of a nice break in the week to have Wednesday off and I think he kind of likes it too because it gives him a day home with the kids. Today we had Clara in her sandbox, then blew up her little baby pool....which Phil filled with WARM water for her, hehe. She spent a good hour in it too, waterlogging her diaper until it got so big it just busted off of her, and then spent the rest of the time diaper-free, splashing around and tossing her toys around. Needless to say I picked up a bag of the little swimmer's diapers when I was out, today.

In my third block of this current program and I like most everything about it except for the learning team part of it, which is 30 percent of my grade. Basically we're divided up into learning teams and do projects together- papers, powerpoint projects, etc. But, if someone in my team doesn't do their portion of the work, the rest of the team is required to make up for their work. It's just frustrating that I'm the one who is paying for my education, and I shouldn't be dependent on someone else to do their work in order to maintain my high GPA. Pretty lame, actually.

Anyway, I'm off. It smells like the burgers are going to be done soon. Phil and Sebastian are outside flipping burgers and hotdogs on the BBQ, and I'm starving!

Cheers, everyone!