Sunday, March 19, 2006

Die, Blogspot

Well Blogspot is being difficult and it's not letting me post pictures today. The good news is that a bunch of other people are all bent out of shape about it too.

This is disappointing because I know you're all flocking to my blog today because you're anxious to see pictures of the guest bathroom. I know it. Don't deny it.

Tomorrow is the appraisal, and Phil and I are just sick about it. Everything hinges on this one thing, and we desperately need it to go well. Phil works so hard to take care of his family, and he needs this. We deserve this one thing to go our way.

We each handle stress and fear and worry differently, and usually Phil handles it much better than I do, but I think in this case he's in worse shape than I am nerves wise. I've never seen him so stressed and freaked out over anything, and I'm literally sick over it, and all weekend we've been feeding off eachother. Sebastian has been laying low-he even cleaned his bedroom! I think that Phil's excited and wants this all to work out so we can move more than I do. Go figure!! I just can't wait for this appraisal to be over, and I hope that the loan comes through because if it doesn't, I don't know what he'll do.

I read last night on our town boards that they had to eliminate the librarian position at the school Sebastian is supposed to attend next year. What kind of crap is that? At first I got really angry about this, because these are the years when a kid can really learn a lot about the library system, and who better to teach it than the librarian? Then I realized that with luck, we'll be able to get our son out of this school district next year. To me, it almost discourages the joys of reading, and to be quite honest, I don't understand why our school district has to keep cutting jobs and teachers and programs just because our town can't get it's shit together. It's not fair to our kids because they're the ones that suffer, and they keep taking things away, one at a time.

It's so frustrating. But it really erases any doubt or fears I had about moving. To me, reading about the librarian was just another sign that we are doing the right thing for our son.

As much as it makes me sick to leave her, Phil's mom is the only thing that keeps us here. And you know, I adore her-she's the neatest lady you could ever meet, but in the end, we have to do what's best for our family, and this is it.

And you know, Phil and I spend a lot of time in our lives setting Sebastian as our number one priority above all else. And it's supposed to be that way. But I think that sometimes as parents, we need to realize that doing things that also benefit us will affect him positively too.

But I think about it and I realize that this move will be good for US, too. I was talking to my mom yesterday and she mentioned that in the whole time we've lived here, that I've never once mentioned having friends over or going out with friends or going shopping or to lunch or sewing etc with a girlfriend. And you know what? She's right. Phil and I, our only friends are our online friends. For like, eight years now, we have had no "real life" friends. We don't know anyone to invite over for a barbeque, I don't have any girlfriends to go shopping with, and you know, we barely leave the house as it is. We're like hermits. This all seems okay to me but if I step back and look at us from the outside, I have to admit that it's pretty unhealthy.

Moving will change all that. My best friend, Andi, well, you gotta knock us out and pry us apart with a crowbar. And her husband is a doll-in a lot of ways, he's a lot like Phil, and I know that they'll get along just fine. Andi and I have decided that tough shit, they have no choice, anyway. :)

Well, blogger is still broken, so I guess I will post this for now, and write more later.

1 comment:

vegas_andi said...

OMG that was just the sweetest thing ever!!! made the Stever shed a tear too.... can't wait for that housewarming BBQ!!!! (mom is already making your housewarming present!! we spent 2 hrs today going over all the photo's and verbage about the new house!!!! love you!!